Listen
by anonymous
When I ask you to listen to me
and you start giving advice,
you have not done what I asked.
When I ask you to listen to me
and you begin to tell me why I shouldn't feel that way,
you are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me
and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem,
you have failed me, strange as that may seem.
Listen! All I asked was that you listen.
Not to talk or do—just hear me.
Advice is cheap. Ten cents will get you both Dear Abby and
Bill Graham in the same newspaper.
And I can do for myself. I'm not helpless.
Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.
When you do something for me that I can and need to do
for myself, you contribute to my fear and weakness.
But, when you accept as a single fact that I do feel what I feel,
no matter how irrational, then I can quit trying to convince
you and get to the business of understanding what's
behind this irrational feeling.
And when that's clear, the answers are obvious and I
don't need advice.
Irrational feelings make sense when we understand what's
behind them.
So, please listen and just hear me. And if you want to talk,
wait a minute for your turn and I'll listen to you.
MORE INFORMATION >>
Articles >> The Empowering Inner Potential to End Violence :: Glossary :: Male/Male Sexual Violence :: Secondary Survivors :: Quiz
Stories >> If Robbery Victims Were Treated Like Rape Victims :: Listen :: Missoula Rape Poem :: One Kid's Story
Resources >> Sexual Assault :: Dating Violence :: Healthy Relationships :: Emergency Contraception
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