By D'Angelo, Former Peer Educator with YouthHIV

My name is D'Angelo, and I am a 22-year-old gay male. My ethnicity is black and Hispanic, and I was born and raised in Washington, D.C. I am back in Washington now after being away for four years for college, and I am working full-time to save money for graduate school. I plan to study for a master's degree in counseling so that I can be a licensed youth counselor.

After remembering how hard it was for me to come out and to accept my homosexuality, I felt the need to help other young people learn to appreciate and become comfortable with themselves as gay individuals before they experienced some of the same difficulties that I did. Coming out wasn't as bad an experience, but it was still tough, nonetheless.

My great grandmother is from the Dominican Republic. I was raised almost completely within black culture, but there were some Latin influences as well. For instance, Thanksgiving dinner typically consisted of turkey, collard greens, fried chicken, chitterlings, flan, arroz con pollo, and chili con carne, among other dishes. We danced the merengue and the electric slide at family gatherings.

Both black and Hispanic cultures are strong, faithful, and proud—which can be good and bad when coming to terms with being gay. It's good because I learned at an early age to be confident and proud of who I am. I learned that life can bring hard times, but I will survive them and persevere, just like my ancestors did. It's bad, on the other hand, because black and Hispanic loved ones can be too strong-willed, faithful, and proud to accept me for the person that I am. I can remember when I was six-years-old and said to myself, "I'm goin' to Hell, and Mom, Dad, and everyone are gonna hate me because I like boys!" Growing up, I knew that my family wouldn't disown me for being gay, but I did not know if they'd continue to love and treat me the way that they did before I came out. I tried to deny my sexuality for years, to please the people in my life; however I was failing to please the most important person in my life—me! I love my friends and family dearly, but I couldn't live my life this way any longer. I had to come out!

I am lucky! A number of my friends and family are now aware of my sexuality, and they are coping positively. I've received more curious questions from them than I have biased opinions. I feel like they are finally realizing that I am the same D'Angelo they remember from before learning about my homosexuality. The only difference is that I love differently from how they expected. I'm glad that they understand being gay is the only way that I can live my life and still be comfortable in my own skin.

I like to help other youth of color who are struggling to accept their sexuality and to come out to their family and community. I understand far too well the pressures and hardships that they face. Assisting youth of color is my way of also helping communities that aren't educated about sexual orientation. That needs to change!