Verbal

Examples

S-1. Listening

Focusing on the present; not bringing up past problems or mistakes; creating safety to express anything

I feel that right now you need me to just listen to you.

S-2. Praising

Giving earned rewards frequently; recognizing efforts rather than products or end results

You worked so long and so hard on the project.

S-3. Feeling

Sharing feelings such as anger, joy, and frustration; using "I" statements

I feel …

I'm so angry when you …

I love you.

S-4. Respecting

Letting others make decisions; avoiding judging and advising; trying to help him/her make his/her own decisions

It's your choice.

What can I do to help you?

S-5. Listening

Identifying the feeling as well as the content and asking the person to confirm it

It sounds like you were very frustrated by the class change. Is that right?

S-6. Trusting

Being consistent; asking for input and understanding that children need to learn in their own way even if they make mistakes

I know you will be thoughtful and responsible.

S-7. Affirming

Finding the positive to express

You are so competent.

You make me happy when you …

S-8. Reflective Listening

Reflecting what another says; paraphrasing a person's words so he/she know he/she has been heard

You sound angry about your friend's response. Is that so?

S-9. Clarifying

Asking for more information when unsure

Could you tell me more about your fight with your friend?

Nonverbal

Examples

S-10. Acting

Finding physical ways to show care, concern, and attention

Making eye contact; touching when appropriate; hugging; staying near the person