Verbal

Examples

S-1. Judging

Making a judgment

You should …

You ought to …

S-2. Rejecting

Giving no support

It's your problem, not mine.

S-3. Blaming/Criticizing

Placing fault on the other person

It's your fault.

S-4. Labeling

Calling names or words that are negative

Only a dummy would do it that way.

S-5. Transferring

Not listening and jumping in with one's own problems

Let me tell you what happened to me.

S-6. Ordering

Giving solutions with no choices

You must do this now.

S-7. Threatening/Bribing

Using threats or bribes to try to make someone do something

If you don't do what I want …

If you do what I want, I'll do this for you.

S-8. Waffling

Not being clear and consistent in setting limits

Well, maybe …

We'll see …

I'll think about it …

S-9. Nagging

Persistently repeating orders or requests

I've told you a thousand times …

How many time do I have to ask you to …

Nonverbal

Examples

S-10. Acting

Using body language that sends negative messages or that rebuffs; being physically abusive

Crossing arms; not looking at speaker; walking away; tapping feet; shaking finger in face; hitting; kicking