Growth and Development, Ages Nine
to 12—What
Parents Need to Know
Also available in [PDF] format.
Human development is a lifelong process of physical, behavioral, cognitive,
and emotional growth and change. In the early stages of life—from babyhood
to childhood, childhood to adolescence, and adolescence to adulthood—enormous
changes take place. Throughout the process, each person develops attitudes
and values that guide choices, relationships, and understanding.
Sexuality is also a lifelong process. Infants, children, teens, and adults
are sexual beings. Just as it is important to enhance a child's physical, emotional,
and cognitive growth, so it is important to lay foundations for a child's sexual
growth. Adults have a responsibility to help young people understand and accept
their evolving sexuality.
Each stage of development encompasses specific markers. The following developmental
guidelines apply to most children in this age group. However, each child is
an individual and may reach these stages of development earlier or later than
other children the same age. When concerns arise about a specific child's development,
parents or other caregivers should consult a doctor or other child development
professional.
Physical Development
Most young people aged nine to 12 will:
- Experience a growth spurt
with significant weight gain, muscle growth, and genital
maturation [Growth spurt begins earlier for girls; lasts
longer for boys, who end up taller].
- Enter puberty, a time when
hormones produced in the pituitary gland trigger
production of testosterone in males, estrogen/progesterone in
females [This usually begins earlier in girls (nine to
12) than in boys (11 to 14).] During puberty—
- Skin becomes more oily
and may develop pimples.
- Sweating increases and
youth may have body odor.
- Hair grows under arms
and on pubis and, in males, on face
and chest.
- Body proportions change
[hips widen in females, shoulders broaden
in males].
- Joints may ache due to
rapid growth.
- In males, genitals mature,
scrotum darkens, voice deepens, sperm
is produced, and erections, ejaculation, and
wet dreams are more
frequent.
- In females, genitals mature,
breasts develop, vaginal lubrication
increases, and ovulation and menstrual cycle
begin.
- Masturbate [both males and females] and may have fantasies
about others and about sexual intimacy
Cognitive Development
Most young people aged
nine to 12 will:
- Move toward independence as
they progress to middle/junior high school
- Continue developing skills
in making decisions as they become more independent
- Begin to consider future careers
and occupations
- Shift their school focus from
play-centered activities to academics
- Begin to look to peers and
media for information and advice [Friends greatly
influence them.]
- Develop increasing capability
for social conscience and for abstract thought,
including understanding complex issues such as poverty and war
- Take on increased responsibility, such as family jobs
and babysitting
Emotional Development
Most young people aged
nine to 12 will:
- Want to blend in and not stand
out from their peers in any way, particularly as to gender
roles and sexuality
- Feel concern about outward
appearance [They want to look like "everyone else."]
- Become self-conscious and
self-centered
- Have ambivalent, conflicting
feelings about puberty and about sexual desire
and want to be independent and to conform
- Care greatly about relationships
with peers, friendships, dating, and crushes and
give peers more importance than family
- Relate to both same-gender
and opposite-gender peers and may develop sexual
feelings for others as a new dimension within relationships
- Develop the capacity to understand
the components of a caring, loving relationship
- Experience feelings of insecurity
and begin to doubt self-concept and previous self-confidence
[Girls, especially, often experience a significant
drop in self-esteem.]
- Struggle with family relationships
and desire privacy and separation from family [They
test limits and push for independence.]
- Experience mood swings, especially
evident in family relationships
- Develop infatuations or "crushes" and may
begin dating
Sexual Development
Most young people aged nine
to 12 will:
- Have an emerging sense of
self as a young adult
- Feel conscious of their sexuality
and how they choose to express it
- Understand jokes with sexual
content
- Feel concerns about being
normal, such as whether it is normal to masturbate,
have wet dreams, etc.
- Feel anxious about puberty,
when it will happen, how it will occur, how to
be prepared, etc.
- Feel shy about asking questions
of caregivers, especially regarding sexuality,
and may act like they already know all the answers
- Value privacy highly
What Families Need to Do to Raise Sexually Healthy Youth
To
help nine- to 12-year-old youth develop a healthy sexuality, families
should:
- Help
young people understand puberty and the changes they
are going through and that these changes, including
menstruation and nocturnal emissions (ejaculation),
are normal.
- Respect
young people's privacy while encouraging
open communication.
- Convey that growth and maturation rates differ from person
to person.
- Help
young people understand that, while they are maturing
physically, they still have lots of emotional and
cognitive growth ahead and that sexual intercourse
is not healthy, appropriate, or wise at this time
in their lives.
- Acknowledge
that abstinence is normal and healthy, that sexual
development is healthy and natural, and that, as
they grow older, there will be many ways to express
sexuality that do not include sexual intercourse.
- Discuss
the important relationship between sexual and emotional
feelings.
- Be
open to conversations about
contraception and condoms and respond honestly
and accurately when young people ask about them.
Click here to return to the Parents'
Sex Ed Center home page.
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