ADVOCATES FOR YOUTH

Related Resources: » Let's Talk Month Planning Guidebook » Parents' Sex Ed Center  » From Research to Practice—Resources for Families on Parent-Child Communication  » There's No Place Like Home … for Sex Education

Every October is Let's Talk Month!

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What is Let's Talk Month?

Let's Talk Month is a national public education campaign celebrated in October and coordinated by Advocates for Youth. Let's Talk Month is an opportunity for community agencies, religious institutions, businesses, schools, media, parent groups and health providers to plan programs and activities which encourage parent/child communication about sexuality.

• Parents are the best sexuality educators for their children.
• Parents want to be good sex educators, but may not always understand how to do the job well.
• Children want sex education from their parents or legal guardians.
• You can be an "askable" parent, a caring parent, and a wise counselor.

TALK WITH YOUR KIDS … START NOW!!!

Messages Worth Repeating

• All of us are growing and changing throughout our lives.
• Everyone develops in his/her own way.
• Your way is unique and special and valid.
• Everybody's body is private and deserves respect.
• Sexuality is a beautiful gift—something to be handled wisely.

Communication Tips

Ten Things YOU Can Do For Let's Talk Month

Let's Talk Month emphasizes the importance of communication between adults and youth in helping young people develop responsible attitudes and behaviors about sexuality. Below are a few ideas on how you can participate in Let's Talk Month:

• Include an article about Let's Talk Month in your newsletter or bulletin.
• Sponsor a parent-child communication training program at your school.
• Provide parents with resources such as pamphlets, brochures, and articles, etc.
• Encourage your school board member, administrators, teachers, nurse, and counselors to attend training programs in child/adolescent health and sexuality.
• Ask parents and other adults to wear an "I'm Askable " button.
• Suggest that parents leave and "invitation to talk" in their child's lunch, bedroom, on a mirror, or any other place the child will find it.
• Sponsor a contest (coloring, poster, essay) for your students that encourages parent-child communication.
• Promote local civic organizations to sponsor an event that will promote child health and /or parent-child communication.
• Encourage local churches and other faith organizations to participate in promoting Let's Talk Month activities in your area.
• Start a "make a date" campaign. Ask parents to schedule a time with their family to sit down and talk together.

 What Do Young People Ask?* 

Parents may worry about the types of questions their young people may ask and what conclusions they can or should draw from those questions.

Questions often asked by preschoolers (ages 3 to 5) include:

• Will I have breasts (or a penis) like yours?
• How did I get into Mommy's stomach?
• Where do babies come from?
• How do babies get out of their mommy's tummy?
• Does it hurt to have a baby?

Questions often asked by preteens include:

• How does a baby eat and grow inside the mother?
• What happens when girls menstruate?
• What is a wet dream?
• What's a rubber (condom) for?
• When will I develop like my friends?

Questions often asked by teens include:

• Are my breasts/penis too small?
• How come I have these erections?
• How can you tell if you have and STD?
• How do you know if you are gay?
• Is something wrong with me if I don't have sex?
• How can I say "no"?
• How can I tell if I'm really in love?
• Is sexual intercourse painful?
• What about having sex with someone you don't love?
• How can I tell if I'm pregnant?

When parents are aware of the questions young people ask (or want to ask), they can see that "Am I normal?" underlies many of these questions. Children seek reassurance as well as information. Understanding this may ease parental discomfort. Parents' uneasiness can be further alleviated by knowing how experts recommend talking with young people about sexuality. The experts say, be prepared to:**

• Listen more than talk.
• Focus on behaviors, not persons.
• Negotiate and compromise, or at least consider other views.
• Encourage an open exchange of ideas.
• Foster the young person's decision-making ability.
• Encourage and receive questions.
• Admit ignorance when appropriate and find the answer.
• Share values and beliefs.
• Explore feelings.
• Show agreement and support often.
• Keep a sense of humor.
• Be clear about expectations and listen, listen, listen!

Why Is It So Hard to Talk About Sex?

Some parents:

• Grew up in an environment where no parent/child sexuality discussions occurred.
• Are afraid they don't know the "right" answers.
• Are afraid that if they talk about sex, their children will be encouraged to experiment.
• Do not know what is appropriate to discuss at what age.
• Are uncomfortable with the idea of their children should know nothing about sex.
• Are embarrassed and uncomfortable discussing sexuality.
• Believe their children get a comprehensive, complete sexuality education at school.
• Do not know when and how to start.
• Are afraid of being asked personal questions about their own behavior.
• Fear discovering that their children do not share their values and beliefs.

Click here to read the Let's Talk Month Planning Guidebook. The guidebook contains organizing tips, selected activities, funding ideas, sample forms, and materials to help communities plan activities that promote parent-child communication about sexuality.

Click here for a list of national organizations, suggested reading material, and Web sites.

*Adapted with permission of Family Health Council, Inc., Pittsburgh, PA.
** Adapted with permission of Planned Parenthood Federation of America, New York, NY.