A Lesson Plan from Life Planning Education: A Youth Development Program (Chapter Four)

NOTE:  Life Planning Education (LPE) is currently being revised. The printed/for-sale version includes an older version of this lesson plan. Please make sure you have looked at the PDF of Life Planning Education before purchasing - that is the version that is available to buy. 

Purpose: To explore feelings about relationships

Materials: Newsprint and markers or board and chalk; one copy for each participant of the handout Assessing Relationships; pens/pencils

Time: 40-50 minutes

• Briefly outline the instructions for Step 7 on the board or newsprint.

1. Explain that this lesson will be about the qualities that make a relationship special.
2. Write the five qualities below on newsprint and ask the group to define them. Use their words as much as possible to create a group definition.
• Respect: To respect others means to honor them, to hold them in high regard or esteem, to treat them as if they are worthwhile even when they are different from you.
• Responsibility: To be responsible means that others can depend on you, that you will fulfill your obligations and will be able to distinguish right from wrong.
• Understanding: To be understanding means to be knowledgeable about another person, what she or he wants and needs and how she or he feels. It means being able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and imagine what life looks like from another point of view.
• Effort: To put effort into the relationship means that you work hard to show respect, to be caring, and to be there for the other person.
• Caring: To be caring means to be concerned and interested in another person’s feelings, needs and wants and to want what is best for that person. It means feeling love or liking for that other person and wanting to protect, provide for and/or pay attention to her/him.
3. Point out that the best relationships result from both people contributing all these qualities. Many relationships are far from perfect. The best are those relationships that participants work hard to develop.
4. Say that participants will identify behaviors useful for showing respect, responsibility, understanding, effort, and caring for one another. Divide participants into four groups and go over instructions for the activity.
• I will assign each small group one of the five qualities necessary for a good relationship and distribute a handout that describes four different imaginary relationships—with parents, friends, or a romantic partner.
• Your group will create two examples of what the teen on the handout could do to demonstrate the assigned quality.
• When you have finished, each group will share its results.
5. Distribute the handout Assessing Relationships to each group and give the following examples to get started. Remind them that these are just examples.
• Respect: you can show respect for a parent or stepparent by obeying the rules they set for you.
• Responsibility: you can show your friend responsibility by showing up on time when you make plans to meet somewhere.
• Understanding: you can show understanding for a friend who is having problems at home by being a good listener and spending time together.
• Labor: you can show labor when you work hard to communicate honestly in a romantic relationship.
• Caring: you can show caring by helping a family member who is sick, bringing him/her books or music to enjoy, or sitting and listening to her/him.
6. Allow 10 minutes and then ask for group reports.
7. Conclude the activity using the discussion points below.

1. If you had to give up one quality in your relationship with a parent or another trusted adult, which of the five would you be most willing to give up? What about in a relationship with a friend? Romantic partner? Why?
2. Which of the five qualities would you be unwilling to ever give up? Why?
3. How do we put the five qualities into our relationships? (Answer may include but are not limited to: By observing and imitating others in their relationships with us; by listening to what others say about their good and bad relationships; by having a relationship without one or more of these qualities.)
4. How would you feel about a friend who did not respect you? Who did not put enough work into the friendship? What could you do about it?
5. How would you feel if a parent didn’t understand you? If you could not depend on that person? What could/would you do about the relationship?
6. Describe a relationship in your life that makes you feel very good. What makes that relationship work?
7. Describe a relationship in your life that you would like to improve. What makes that relationship difficult for you?

Life Planning Education, Advocates for Youth, Updated 2009.