Sally Steenland: Urooj, you work on reproductive and sexual health issues with young American Muslims. What are some pressing issues these young people face?

Urooj Arshad: Many young people have felt stigmatized talking about sexual health, and there are not a lot of resources for them. Advocates for Youth is a national organization, and we decided it was a priority for us to work with the community. Our Muslim Youth Project seeks to build the capacity of organizations working on reproductive and sexual health issues with American Muslim youth.

It actually came out of a trip I took to Germany, meeting with a coalition of folks coming from all over Europe to talk about multiculturalism and sexual health education. A lot of the meeting was focused on immigrants and Muslim youth, but there was a distinct lack of Muslim representation. I felt that addressing this gap could be a model—not only in the United States but also for people doing this work in other places where there are large Muslim communities but due to lack of representation and resources, reproductive and sexual health are not addressed.

The big challenges American Muslim communities face are silence and stigma. Issues around reproductive and sexual health are either not talked about or not talked about in a way that is healthy. Silence and stigma can lead to negative health outcomes for young people, especially as they negotiate their lives here. All the information they receive from school and other sources can pose a dilemma as to what they’re supposed to be doing.

There is also a lack of cultural competence from mainstream providers. It could be community-based organizations. It could be schools. If you are a provider that’s worked predominantly in the Muslim community, you might not be able to address reproductive or sexual health issues. Or if you are a provider in the reproductive and sexual health community, you might not know how to address issues Muslim young people are facing. Because of this, what can happen in the American Muslim youth community can be quite dire.

This blog by Robin Bridges, mother of Advocates' staff member Emily Bridges, was written as part of our "Celebrating Pride" series for June.

When my daughter, Emily, told me she was gay we were sitting on my front porch looking out onto the Chesapeake Bay.  It was a lovely peaceful evening.

Em said something along the lines of “Mom, I need to tell you something important.”  Of course, my mind was racing about what it could be – a new boyfriend, a new job, moving – a thousand things.  None of which included that she was coming out.  I’m quite embarrassed to say that I never had an idea.  Of course, Em had not been living with me at the time; she was in college.  No, she never talked about guys, but she didn’t talk about girls, either.  At least none that I didn’t know were her school friends.

When she told me, she said, “Mom, I have a girlfriend.”  Went right over my head.  I assumed she meant she’d met a new friend at work or school.  Em said it again emphasizing the word girlfriend.  Nothing.  One more time and I got it.  I responded with the “oh.”  Then, another oh.  And, oh again.  Then, I said. “OK!  Will I like her?”

At this point, Em got pretty emotional and starting crying a little.  She had been afraid that I would turn her out.  I was astonished that she even had the slightest thought in that direction.  What a horrible time my girl must have been going through to be so worried.  We both cried then.

I told Emily that my love for her had no qualifiers especially not her sexuality.  I had never said "I love you but only if you’re straight."  My daughter is gay and my love for her is endless.  End of story.   Or the beginning.

by Kate Stewart, Executive Vice President for Public Affairs

"It was a dark and stormy night…"  Really, it was a dark and stormy night; the night my 11 year old daughter asked me about what it meant to be gay. We were on our way home from seeing the Hunger Games together and the car got a flat tire. As we waited for AAA, the rain beat down on the car and we both sat in silence until I heard her voice from the backseat ask, “Does being gay mean you will be bullied? Does it mean you will try to commit suicide? That you will be depressed?”

After a few stunned moments, I asked what she meant and where she had heard these things.  She told me, “At school there is a poster in the guidance counselor’s office that says kids who are gay or lesbian are likely to be bullied, become depressed and commit suicide.”

“What else have you heard or talked about in school about being gay,” I asked. “Nothing,” was her reply.

We then talked about family and friends who are gay and lesbian and are very happy living their lives – some single, some married, some with kids, old, and young. She was relieved. But, I was anything but relieved. I realized that while we need to raise awareness about bulling and depression among gay and lesbian youth, that perhaps too often we send only a one-sided message.

by Debra Hauser, President

Inevitable. Since President Obama announced his personal support for marriage equality last month, reporters and pundits alike have said same-sex marriage is “inevitable.” That it is only a matter of time before gay and lesbian couples will be allowed to legally marry across the United States. And, now with recent court rulings on Defense of Marriage Act and California’s Proposition 8, it is very likely the Supreme Court will weigh in on this sooner than later. With the personal backing of Vice President Biden, Secretary of Education Arne Duncan, President Obama, the NAACP, Latino singer Ricki Martin, and even hip hop mogul Jay-Z it might just be the case that marriage equality is inevitable.

Of course, not everyone agrees with the President’s position. Opponents of same-sex marriage are numerous and vocal, the Defense of Marriage Act is currently still on the books, and 31 states have a constitutional ban preventing it.

So why does marriage equality now look inevitable? The answer may be found with the swiftly growing cultural acceptance of gay and lesbian rights and demographic changes that elevate the potential political power of Millennials.