by Martha Kempner

A couple of weeks ago a study on teen sex was presented at the annual meeting of the American Sociological Association in Atlanta and it made headlines in everything from the Associated Press to Bloomberg Businessweek. The headlines varied from: “How Teen Sex Affects Education” to “ Teen sex not always bad for school performance” but all of the articles essentially reported the same thing. Researchers at the University of California, Davis and the University of Minnesota analyzed data on teenagers’ sexual behavior and their educational outcomes and found that having sex as a teen does not necessarily impact a teen’s education. Instead, the important factor is the type of relationship in which teen sex occurs. Specifically, teens who had sex in romantic relationships did not suffer academically whereas teens who had sex in non-romantic relationships did.

According to the researchers, teens who had intercourse in romantic relationships did not differ from their abstinent peers when it came to GPA, attachment to school, or expectations for college.  Nor did they have more trouble in school such as being suspended or consistently absent.   That said, teens who had intercourse in non-romantic relationships did have lower GPAs, cared less about school, had fewer college expectations, and had more problems in school, including being at greater risk of being suspended or expelled.

The media, which we all know loves stories about teens and sex,  jumped on all of this to report the differences between teens in “long-term” or “serious” relationships compared to those partaking in “casual sex” or the infamous “hook-up culture.”   And many of the articles talked about the type of relationship  as “the cause” of any academic differences in the two groups.   As I read these articles, I had a hard time believing there was a direct cause-and-effect. Teen relationships, just like those of adults, are complicated and while they may impact a teen’s life they also reflect the life that young person already has.  It would make sense to me that teens who were already having trouble in school or at home might be more likely to engage in casual sex than teens who had a stable home life and were busy planning for a college career.  Without knowing more about the teens themselves, I would be loathe to pronounce sex—casual or otherwise—the cause of anything.  

Turns out that the authors of the study wouldn’t do that either.  They never point to a cause but discuss associations and correlations between various behaviors and outcomes.  Moreover, they never make a distinction between serious relationships and casual ones.  They stick to the data which divided relationships into those that were romantic and non-romantic by using teen-criteria like:  I met my partner’s parents, I told other people that we were a couple, we went out together alone, we held hands, I gave my partner a present, and I told my partner that I love him or her, among others.  Making this about going steady versus hooking up was completely a product of the media.  (Heather Corrina of Scarlet Teen provides a great explanation of this and many other ways in which this study was  misreported by the media.  Check out RH Reality Check to read it.)

In some ways, though, I think it is exactly that misreporting that makes this study an important one for educators and parents. The news articles on the study started with lines like “having sex doesn’t generally affect teens’ grades” and “there’s good news for parents….”  When it comes to teen sex, few articles have ever started by saying there is good news for parents.  As I have said in past blogs, our society tends to harp on the negative aspects of teen sex.  We talk a lot about sexually transmitted diseases and we’re very interested in discussing teen pregnancy and parenting, but we rarely discuss teen sexual behavior as a normal and natural part of growing up (despite the fact that by senior year two-thirds of all high school students have engaged in it).  And, more importantly, we rarely talk about the nuances of teen sexual relationships. The end result is a message that all teen sex is bad. This study, as one expert says in the AP article, dispels that notion. 

And as such, maybe it can restart our conversations.  Maybe we can now start talking about teen sexual relationships in much the same way we talk about adult relationships, as individual and complicated but potentially quite positive.  The AP article, for example, suggests that “Teens in serious relationships may find social and emotional support in their sex partner, reducing their anxiety and stress levels in life and in school.”  Again, while this was not the precise terminology in the study itself,  it sounds not just plausible but like something we would readily acknowledge when it comes to adults.  Being in a stable relationship and having a partner who you can trust, rely on, and simply talk to is something many adults aspire to because it helps them handle the rest of the stress in their lives.  And plenty of studies among adults have suggested that a steady and stable sex life increases happiness and decreases stress.  It makes perfect sense that the same would hold true for teens.

The non-romantic relationships may be trickier to fully understand and discuss.  First, because we don’t know that much about them.  Maybe these teens were on their way into a more romantic relationship and someday they will meet each other’s parents or say “I love you.”  Alternatively maybe they were old friends who experimented with sex or maybe classic one night stands.   Even amongst adults, casual sex is more difficult to talk about because each relationship is different and everybody has different values and criteria on what they find acceptable.  Still, we can and should have conversations with and about teens which acknowledge that not all sexual relationships are romantic, long-term, or particularly serious.  

Even though the media got many of the details wrong when reporting this study, it did give us a great opportunity to acknowledge that teen sex, in and of itself, is not all bad and that teen sexual relationships vary and matter.  As parents, we must now take this opportunity to enter into deeper conversations with our teens and discuss the importance not just of sex (and definitely not just of the consequences of sex) but of relationships.  We can help our teens consider—when deciding to have sex with someone—what their relationship is currently, what they want it to be,  and how they think sex may impact it.