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by Dan Jubelirer, North Carolina State Youth Activist
A provocative new study presented by the American Sociological Association finds that not all teenage sexual activity leads to worse performance in school.
“It's not so much whether a teen has sex that determines academic success, the researchers say, but the type of sexual relationship they're engaged in. Teens in serious relationships may find social and emotional support in their sex partners, reducing their anxiety and stress levels in life and in school.”
(via AP)
Shocker: a young person’s school performance is not dependent on whether or not that they have sex. This seems to contradict the narrative that right wing, abstinence-only proponents paint: that if we allow teens to think about sex or to have sex, we will be giving rise to a morally depraved and destructive generation of sex crazed young people. News flash: this is simply ridiculous. And more importantly, this philosophy that guides abstinence-only sex education is destructive to young people.
This study backs up what I have believed for a long time: that school performance, morals, and general worth as a person are NOT tied to sexual activities.
In short, the worth of any man or woman does not lie between our legs. Whether or not a teen is a virgin is irrelevant to how good of a person they are, and trying to judge people based on their virginity is wrong and damaging. This view is explored in depth by Jessica Valenti, author of The Purity Myth. She writes:
“The lie of virginity – the idea that such a thing even exists –is ensuring that young women’s perception of themselves is inextricable from their bodies, and that their ability to be moral actors is absolutely dependent on their sexuality.”
This study shows how in the real world, the idea of purity is just a myth:
“Teens in serious (sexual) relationships did not differ from their abstinent counterparts in terms of their grade-point average, how attached they are to school or college expectations. They were also not more likely to have problems in school, be suspended or absent.”
The study also says that it is not the virginity of young people but the quality of the relationship-sexual or non-sexual- that determines performance in school. Is the relationship stressful and abusive or supportive and stable? This is the question adults should ask their teens, not “HAVE YOU HAD SEX?!”
What we need to do is work at the political, societal, and cultural level to ensure that teens are entering relationships that bring stability, happiness, and social and emotional support. Sex education in school, messages in the media, and messages from parents should be geared at fostering these healthy relationships. Leave it up to us whether or not to have sex. The more adults try to control our decisions, the more we will rebel and often do things we regret. But, as a teen, with so much growth and change happening in every part of my life, we sometimes DO need support from adults to learn how to create these healthy relationships. So help us with that. Because, after all, that is where it counts. |
